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Joke of the Day
"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't like humour."
Next Joke
"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? Spirits."
"So Hellen Keller walks into a bar and a table... and a chair... and a wall"
"i hate when the news guys say ""our nation's capital"". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is"
"Why Make Your Bed? MOM: Make your bed! KID: Why make my bed if I'm gonna sleep in it again tonight? MOM: Why wipe your ass if your gonna poop again? KID: O_O"
"My wife gave me her Christmas list. I said, ""isn't my undying love & affection enough?"" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store"
"Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider."
"40 world leaders are in DC tonight. Blocks away, George Clinton is playing a show. Does Joe Biden know what a big funking deal that is?"
"I'm not going to make my daughter choose a religion, I'll explain the differences & when the time comes she can choose either Marvel or DC."
"What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model."