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Joke of the Day

"I built a lighthouse... but it blew away."

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"THERAPIST: how do you feel ME: with my hands THERAPIST: no, like on the inside ME: ohhh...idk probably kinda squishy and weird"
"Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food"
"A blind person walks in to a bar."
"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."
"I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist; stopped 'cause the audience wasn't feelin' it and I couldn't see the point."
"A fish swims into a wall Dam"
"Make a man a fire: he'll be warm for the night Set a man on fire: he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"A man walks into a bar Ouch."
"What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette? Tobaccio"