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Joke of the Day

"Nature is full of strange creatures: carnivororous plants, birds that can't fly, white people with dreadlocks"

"What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink? ""Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"""

"Where do bros go for spring break? Gainzville."

"My wife faked an orgasm, so I faked a mortgage payment"

"What kind of sweets do trucks like? Lorrypops."

"I took a class on procrastination There was always homework due next week (. .) "

"Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom? Their P is silent."

"Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking"

"I'm not a lucky man I once gambled on a couch and won a baby"

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the bulb has to be large enough."