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Joke of the Day

"A Canibal realized his meal was undercooked. So he threw up his hands in frustration"

"Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked."

"This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code."

"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending."

"I just told my sister I'm into incest.. She's taking it pretty hard"

"Whats the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair"

"How do you start a baby shower? Throw it into a wood chipper."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"

"-Joe's coming over. ""Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?"" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]"

"I spent ages trying to cross a busy road. Some passer-by said, ""There's a zebra crossing fifty yards up the road."" I thought, ""I hope he's having better luck than me."""