161476
Joke of the Day
"Twitter. Finally an app that makes people stop at yellow lights."
Next Joke
"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"
"I drink Mountain Dew for the protective coating it leaves on my teeth. The kidney stones are a close second."
"Guys, for Valentine's Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say ""Will"", ""you"", and ""me."" That'll keep her busy while you watch sports."
"LAUNDROMAT BLUES Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you."
"I'm the kind of girl people don't look twice at Even when I hit them hard with a shopping trolley one, two, thr... Yep, now he's looking"
"NEW EXPRESSIONS ""Kanye bless you."" ""Kanye damn it!"" ""One nation, under Kanye."" ""Thank Kanye Almighty!"" ""The Kanyefather, Part II"""
"Where did the suicide bomber go when he died? EVERYWHERE!"
"If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby."
"What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's father have in common? They pulled out too late."