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Joke of the Day

"Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and started making meth in my basement but anyway take one candy bar each kids. Happy Halloween."

"who needs people when you got pizza"

"My favorite book to read on the toilet is ""The Shining."" It scares the shit outta me."

"Ben Carson: Health care is not a right. Trump: We're not gonna just let people die in the streets! Carson: Oh you're so hippocratical!"

"Just blew my nose so hard that it got down on one knee & proposed."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... His name is Chaz."

"How do you make holy water? You just take normal water and boil the hell out of it."

"Whoever made the song ""Let It Snow"" Must have been horny. Le tItS now? Cmon"

"What did the ventriloquist say to their friend? Nothing. He's mute. I don't even think he's as ventriloquist."

"What's the difference between a new golf ball and a spoilt child? One's white and shiny, and the other is shite and whiny!"