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Joke of the Day

"Whoever made the song ""Let It Snow"" Must have been horny. Le tItS now? Cmon"

"There's no way witnessing the birth of your child is better than seeing your luggage come out first on the baggage carousel."

"I met a girl that told me, ""Make me laugh and I'm yours"". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :("

"I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake."

"When my mum was in labour.... When my mum was in labour, my head got stuck in her fanny and the midwife had to pull me out. That's how excited I was to see my little brother."

"*uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit"

"I have an awful lot of shampoo and conditioner for a single bald dude"

"98% of Facebook is women telling each other how great they look."

"chuck norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 magikarp and beat the whole game"

"Don't tell me you're coming to my party on facebook then go for something better last minute ugh have fun at ""the wake"" or whatever"