161374

Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if your roommate is gay? If his dick tastes like shit."

"I met a girl who said she orgasmed every time she sneezed I asked her what she took for that. She said usually pollen or ragweed"

"How did the investigators discover that a serial killer had dandruff? They found head & shoulders in his bathroom."

"Today my family is celebrating my dad's 100 days w/o alcohol he is in a coma"

"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"

"How five Jews changed the way we see the world: Moses: ""The Law is everything"" Jesus: ""Love is everything"" Marx: ""Money is everything"" Freud: ""Sex is everything"" Einstein: ""Everything is relative"""

"They figured out where the terrorists have been hiding their armies. In their sleevies."

"I went to a blind fortune teller the other day She looked into her crystal ball, and she told me there is eternal darkness in my future."

"What was the former name of captain Hook? Captain Hand"

"Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back"