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Joke of the Day

"I met a girl who said she orgasmed every time she sneezed I asked her what she took for that. She said usually pollen or ragweed"

"It'd be fun to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security's face when they pull off that first mask."

"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names"

"I'm so glad none of my friends are gay Because they're safe"

"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."

"911 - 911 what's your emergency Me - I am Australian and I watch too much American TV 911 - .... Me - I don't know our emergency number"

"What do you call a dim witted hooker? A slow poke."

"What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything? The mythbusters and ghostbusters."

"My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league."