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Joke of the Day

"Why does my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning? I think that pretty much goes without saying."

"My sister told me she is going to become fucking rich... I didn't know she wanted to be a porn actress"

"Did you know that Lorena Bobbit was originally from Russia? Her given name was Lorena Cutyourcockoff."

"My fortune cookie just says Hahahaha. Is that good?"

"What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline."

"What's the difference between sexy and kinky? Sexy is when you use the feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken."

"I know a guy who bowled a 301. ""How'd he do that?"" Because you can't bowl a 300 and lose."

"I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter."

"The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before."

"""I heard that taking your shirt off can make you appear more aggressive and self-confident."" ""Ok, but we already said you got the job."""