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Joke of the Day

"Jokes About Canada I've been trying to think of jokes about Canada. I could rib on universal health care, maple syrup, or ""sorry"". But no matter what I think of, it always ends up feeling sort of eh."

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"BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered"
"Im offended by physicists being all about black matter I think All Matter"
"Star Wars has given me unrealistic expectations of who my father is."
"Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries? Traitor Joe's"
"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I'm making... ...then they call me ugly and poor."
"Whenever my husband opens his wardrobe he shouts and curses. I think he's a cross dresser."
"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken anything for it?"
"Inspired by a recent ELI5: ""Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres"", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts? . . A: Elephants"
"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"