161226

Joke of the Day

"I bet if I was a hot chick and I left a status that said ""I'm brushing my hair"". It would get about 50 likes."

"if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry them"

"I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil."

"snowflakes are like vaginas... each one unique... and I like them on my tongue.."

"Today I broke my leg but it's going tibia okay"

"What do you call a Mexican Super Saiyan Fajita"

"A friend told me I take twitter way too seriously. Don't worry, I unfollowed her."

"What did the dick say to the condom Go away, you make sex less pleasurable and have a higher than acceptable risk of breaking."

"A little doctor joke Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm in a large African river! Doctor: Ah, you must be in denial."