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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry them"

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because his wife is a bitch!"

"Chief Exec: Any Ideas? Writer 1: Talking Animals! Writer 2: How about a Princess? Writer 3: Kill the parents! -Brainstorming at Disney"

"Hey guys, trust me on this one, tweets aren't nearly as funny when they're being read aloud in a courtroom."

"Haven't seen David Blaine in a long time. I'd say it's his best trick ever."

"A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot."

"Why did the baker have smelly fingers? Because he kneaded a poo."

"What book is better when you read it drunk? Tequila Mockingbird."

"I've been a dad for 5+ years now but I finally feel like I've really made it. This happened earlier today: Aaron: Dad, Michael's eating the wrapper! Me: Eating the wrapper?! That's Ludicrous!"

"whats the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? the park bench can hold a family of four"