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Joke of the Day

"Everybody had heard we were running out of space in the file cabinet, so they all rushed to get their documents put away. It was a self-fullfiling prophesy."

"Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus."

"What did the Taliban soldier say to his buddy? Afgan I pee... Stan he fer me a minute."

"Adam and Eve Did you know Eve was the first carpenter? She made Adam's banana stand."

"GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!"

"That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me. It said ""This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures."""

"How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb? [removed]"

"Q: What do you call a snake that makes a lot of noise when it eats? A: A slurpent."

"You know what they say about amnesia... No, really. Do you know?"

"I called my friend in North Korea and asked how he was. He said he couldn't complain."