160804
Joke of the Day
"When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime, I meant with me."
Next Joke
"Canadian court... Do you plead sorry or not sorry?"
"Judge : Anything you say in this court will be held against you. Man : ""Titties"" Lawyer : Fuck.. He's good"
"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."
"What's the difference between herpes and mono? You get one from snatching a kiss."
"What do you call a female police officer with short pubes? CuntStubble"
"You kick one baby and everyone's like ""That's not a football"" and ""He's not breathing, call 911."" Draaaaaama."
"My girlfriend and I spent $40 on a pesto pasta It was worth every penne"
"A ""good parenting"" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?"
"..because I always go through the punch-line first I'm usually buzzed by the end of the cake-line.."