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Joke of the Day

"He's very handsome, by which I mean he has some hands. The normal amount of hands. I'm not great at describing people with words."

"Dad, how could you? I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and donald trump? One of them is a racist carrot"

"My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, ""welcome to idiom club"". Now, let's cut to the chase."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it"

"What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick? ""Just put it on my bill"""

"How do you make a pheromone? Let his people go!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candace ! Candace who ? Candace with love !"

"Did you know John Denver had dandruff? Yeah, after his plane went down they found his Head and Shoulders washed up on a beach."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."