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Joke of the Day

"My doctor said I need to eat more Taco Bell He actually said I was constipated, but I understood what he meant."

"Did you hear the one about the zombie telemarketer? They say he was a dead ringer."

"What does Sherlock call his friends? His Holmies"

"Just waiting to hear those three special words... ""there's no evidence."""

"[Joseph checking in to hotel] ""Is there WiFi?"" Only in the stable *later to Virgin Mary* ""Honey, hotel was booked. Gotta stay in the stable"""

"What did the Game of Thrones character say when he saw the slutty door? Hodor."

"Why are there no elderly people in Africa? They all die when they turn aidy."

"I keep telling people my girlfriend is not retarded... But everyone keeps insisting I am fucking retarded! Just thought of it while taking a poopy! I will see myself out now."

"elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like ""lmao for sure, g'night"""

"What does a bored Spaniard eat? Aburrido."