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Joke of the Day

"Why do mice have such tiny balls? Because so few of them can dance!"

"Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above."

"Why was old Bilbo's body found with a massive erection? Because old hobbits die hard."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapuss"

"What's it like never being flaccid? Hard."

"saw guy at the store hand his gf some ""cutie"" oranges and say ""youre the real cutie."" i went to the bedding aisle and screamed into a pillow"

"How many Nice Guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just complement the bulb and get pissed that it won't screw"

"A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"I'm giving up for Lent."

"There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face."