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Joke of the Day

"My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose."

"Even the stick figure woman on my wife's back window has a headache."

"Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts! Yup ya walked right into that one"

"Donald Trump doesn't like Mexicans, and I'm terrible with timed writing prompts. I guess we have similar opinions... We both hate ese's."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in there first."

"From a very early age, I used to feel like a guy trapped in a woman's body... ...then I was born."

"My boss yelled at me yesterday ""It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!"" I said, ""Probably that it's Friday?""..."

"Flying illegally in the animal carriage are really comfortable in a way. Bad side? There're no toilet. Good side? They don't question the smell."

"When Jesus makes tea. Hebrews."

"How do we know dolphins are the only other animals that have sex for pleasure? They pull out."