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Joke of the Day

"Usain Bolt and I have a lot in common I can run for less than 10 seconds and enjoy smoking Degrasse"

"For $11, you can come to my house and watch me shave. The plot is a little weak, but the 3D effects are amazing."

"What do you call it when someone steals your footrest? Grand Theft Ottoman"

"It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing"

"What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? Better reflexes."

"Gabe Newell! Gabe Newell lived from 1962 until Half-Life 3, confirmed!"

"Prison seems to have it all. Free food, free housing, free sex."

"Went for ""a walk"" today, like some kind of prehistoric moron."

"""And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?"" ""I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."""

"Why is stephen harper a bad stripper? Because he doesnt do well on the poles"