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Joke of the Day

"Two ads? IN A ROW? On this website that gives me access to all the music ever made? I won't stand for it"

"can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old."

"Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly."

"Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken. >:|"

"Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police? He was under investigation for excessive use of Force"

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"Going to attempt a Mexican joke. Hope it's a good Juan!"

"Describing a female colleague to your GF, saying ""you know, the hot blond"" is conducive to sofa sleeping."

"What do women and the square root of 2 have in common? They're both irrational."

"A pirate walks into a bar The bar tender notices that he has a ships wheel sticking out of the front of his pants, he asks ""doesn't that bother you"". And the pirate says ""arrrr it's drivin me nuts"""