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Joke of the Day
"Trophy Wife Any wife can be a trophy wife... ... if you take her to a taxidermist."
Next Joke
"It's amazing how kids can't think of a thing to do all day long but you put them to bed at 11 pm & they're busy working on a cure for cancer"
"Why do men sound like they're having an orgasm when they're lifting weights? And why is my father lifting weights in the bathroom?"
"Why would the jewish cannibal eat you? For-Skin"
"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"
"How often does Mary see her special friend? Periodically."
"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"
"Always leave the shower curtains open. *things I learned from horrors"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"The most toxic substances known to mankind. 1. Arsenic 2. Cyanide 3. Polonium 4. Mercury 5. The League of Legends community"