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Joke of the Day

"Just accidentally flashed my gay neighbor. He's not gay anymore. HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. He totally threw up."

"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar... The number of occupants exceeds the maximum allowable number for fire safety, and thus the bartender throws them out."

"My favorite book is a Stephen King novel... but you've probably never heard of It"

"Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a snail trail"

"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

"My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking."

"Did you hear about the dancing girl? She danced on one leg and then the other, but she made her living between the two of them."

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""

"You know the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day? On St. Patrick's day, everyone wants to be Irish."