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Joke of the Day

"Just accidentally flashed my gay neighbor. He's not gay anymore. HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. He totally threw up."

"Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a ""romcom"" so I'm going to assume she means ""Roman Combat"" and put on Gladiator."

"""Wow, you're tall.. Do you play basketball?"" ""Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?"""

"asked the universe for literally nothing & received a commercial featuring conjoined twins riding a segway"

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"What is Godzilla's favorite fruit? Squash."

"Where do you get 'Extra Virgin' olive oil? Really ugly olives."

"Have you heard about the South Korean subreddit? Apparently it's the /r/seoul of reddit."

"A guy tells his doctor ""I have a good pee every morning at 7.. ""And a good bowel movement at 8."" Doctor says ""OK so what's the trouble?"" Man says ""I don't get out of bed till 9!"""

"Why did Wolverine stop checking his e-mail? He kept forgetting his Logan and password."