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Joke of the Day
"Why does Jared love 6-inch subs? He doesn't, he likes 14-year old girls"
Next Joke
"Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream? Both are in *a la mode*."
"I once knew a guy in high school who got caught masturbating in the shower. It really ruined our class trip to Auchwitz for us."
"""Jesus loves you."" A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison."
"So the waiter said ""The plate is hot"" and I said ""I'll be the judge of that, haha."" Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center."
"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter they don't have any power."
"Have you seen the new clear plastic bikinis? They're worth looking into."
"*National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S."
"Anxiety: making it impossible to tell the difference between a minor problem and a catastrophe since the development of the frontal lobe!"
"Pharmacists should stuff every third prescription bottle with one of those snakes that pops out at you... cuz laughter is the best medicine."