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Joke of the Day

"A haiku to my boss who asked me to work this weekend: Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha no"

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"Her idea of extending an olive branch was to sharpen one end first, then extend it REALLY hard."

"What does a witch get if she's a poor traveler? Broom sick."

"I would like to have submitted that joke about UDP here but I don't think you would get it."

"What molecule has the best sense of humor? A helium polymer. HeHeHeHeHe"

"How do you know you're wife is too fat? You're using Google maps to find her g spot..."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar"

"Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had. ""He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."""

"So the other day at the ATM an elderly lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her o_O"