1602

Joke of the Day

"Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair."

"Why don't blind people like to go skydiving? It scares their seeing-eye dog."

"MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home."

"What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad"

"My neighbor poked my eyeball out so I asked for an iPhone 7 as a compensation An i for an eye as they say"

"Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?"

"""Your under arrest!"" No, YOU'RE under arrest *police looks around points to himself & mouths 'me'* Yeah you. *he tosses me cop car keys*"

"If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus."

"I had a harder childhood than most. My parents didn't send me to a therapist, they sent me to a theanalrapist."

"It's hard work being a commuter. You have to train a lot."