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Joke of the Day

"I seriously thought the slang phrase 'This place is 'crackalackin!', actually meant 'This place is lacking white people'."

"I was skeptical Apple was using child labor until my iPod arrived and engraved on it was, ""Help! So hungry! Send Lunchables!"""

"Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian? Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out"

"7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed."

"If you put on BBC news and told me it was Downton Abbey, I'd watch for like 20 min before I asked ""For real, tho?"""

"In 2050 old men will say bae'"

"Ever have one of those days where you drink so much coffee that you can't hold the scalpel straight? LOL! It's like a Gallagher show!"

"What is Jesus' favorite mathematical operation? The Cross Product"

"Why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? ...he was totally drinking it before it was cool."

"Your mama's so ugly people discriminate against her for it and she has no legal recourse."