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Joke of the Day
"Hillary Clinton isn't a female. She's just an F she deleted the emale."
Next Joke
"What French city always surrenders first? Toulouse"
"My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool."
"I miss the good old days when rock stars abused drugs and alchohol. Now they abuse auto-tune and Photoshop."
"My friend recently got crushed by books. He's got his shelf to blame."
"What's grey and comes in pints? An Elephant."
"What is Beethoven doing right now? Decomposing."
"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."
"A tourist walks up to a woman in a bar Tourist: Hello, what's your name? Girl: Hi, I'm Erica. Tourist: I'm Jim, where are you from? Girl: America. Tourist: Yeah, but where are you from?"
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."