156848

Joke of the Day

"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations."

"There's three types of people in this world... ...those who are good at math, and those who aren't."

"""Sir, the UAV strike bombing missed the target."" ""Were we at least close?"" ""Not even remotely."""

"I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up. Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll."

"Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States? Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings."

"Bob: Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"I used to be indecisive... But now I'm not sure. EDIT: I know this is an old joke, but it's one of my favorite one-liners, so I thought I'd share."

"I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod."

"Deer Nuts and Beer Nuts Q:Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts A:Ones a dollar and the other is under a buck"

"That dentist in the news is getting attacked by the public and so far he hasn't said anything I guess he really took that laying down"