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Joke of the Day

"In honor of Cinco De Mayo - Why do Mexicans cross the border two at a time? Because the signs say ""No Trespassing""."

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"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane? You would too if you had to fly Alitalia."
"1 We must strive to disconnect gender norms from career choices. It is my hope that the next generation is better, that Secretary Kerry's grandchildren never feel the embarrassment his children feel."
"I bought a book of pick-up lines, but the pages were empty... turns out it was written by Bill Cosby."
"There are two reasons I would never drink from a toilet Number 1, and number 2"
"Nobody ever believes me when I say I have to go to the bathroom. They always say that I'm full of crap"
"Twitter=Whats happening? FB=Whats on your mind? FourSquare= Where am I? Quora=what? Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me?"
"If the secret ingredient in Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte was the tears of underprivileged children, white people would still drink it."
"Robin Hood and Little John walking through the forest... Have fun getting that song out of your head."