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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the guy who cooled himself to -273.15 C? He was 0K."

"Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me"

"What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market? ""Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"""

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"What is beethoven doing in his grave Decomposing haha it's funni"

"A young boy asks his Jewish father for $40... The father replies, ""40 dollars?! What do you need 20 dollars for? Here's $10"" gives him a 5, ""now go split it with your brother."""

"i have a little piece of wood i like to gently hit my wifes breasts with.... its a mammary stick."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out-standing in his field."

"It's impressive how within three minutes of crawling into bed your brain can remind you of 23,472 things going wrong with your life."

"Can anyone help me with starting a rocket science club at school? I'm having trouble getting it off the ground."