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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !"

"Now you can handle those nasty cuts from the comfort of your home... ... with ""Suture Self""."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"[911 call] IM GETTING EATEN- *pause* Ok one sec. *holds phone away from mouth* Are you an alligator or a crocodile? *pause* Cool. ITS A CRO-"

"Did you hear about the guy with no penis? He just comes out of nowhere."

"Why does the army want to only recruit married men? Because they don't want a **single** man lost!"

"I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong"""

"[ice cream parlor] WIFE: I'll have two scoops of vanilla ME: me too, u could say I want an WIFE AND CLERK: please don't ME: ice cream clone"

"You'd think atoms bonds would mean they were being friendly to each other... But, they end up stealing each other's electrons. Isn't that ionic?"

"[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that"