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Joke of the Day

"What language do pigs speak? Depends on which country they're from."

"A girl at my high school got kicked out of the Future Farmers of America (FFA)... She couldn't keep her calves together."

"Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* ""oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'"

"If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut."

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"Sometimes peeing feels better than sex. It lasts longer too."

"He shouldn't have died so young, but he also shouldn't have cut the grass at 7:30 am on a Sunday. (I'm writing my neighbors obituary)"

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a drink..."

"What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread? Sour-Doh!"

"Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone."