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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes peeing feels better than sex. It lasts longer too."

"For Sale... Parachute: $300. Slightly stained. Used once; never opened. No strings attached."

"Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life."

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"3 Politicians go to Heaven..."

"Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark-hives."

"""I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today."" -Cats"

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."

"Trying to think of a funny Good Friday joke, I really want to NAIL it."

"I told my husband I'm pregnant. He said ""Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad!"""