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Joke of the Day
"I don't drink anymore ...or any less, still too much."
Next Joke
"Here's a USPS joke. Nevermind, it was lost in transit."
"What do you call a Muslim Elvis Impersonator? Alam Shookup."
"1998: stop playing pokemon and go outside 2016: stop playing pokemon and come inside"
"Great Scot, Marty! You know what you'd get if I locked myself in a room with the old-me from 1955 and convinced my other self never to build a time machine? A paradox, Marty!"
"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."
"*opens front door to see Christmas carolers singing Please, I have a family"
"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest accomplishment?"" Me: ""I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."""
"What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant? They both have wings, except for the elephant."
"What do you call a crocodile in a band? A crocstar"