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Joke of the Day

"Technically there is a lot of food in this house but none it is sweet or microwaveable therefore there is no food in the house."

"ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?"

"Who let the docs out? Google. Google docs."

"Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod."

"Told my girlfriend that there was a party in my pants and that she was invited. She asked if it was a search party :("

"I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?"

"What's the difference between Kim and Robert K? Robert never got a famous black guy off all by himself ..."

"I prefer shampoo to the real thing."

"Some people, SOME damn people, only tell jokes with famous French people in the punch line... Deneuve! DeGaulle!"

"The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30."