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Joke of the Day

"Why have all the immigrants left? They had no rights."

"There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids. So the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed"

"I met a dwarf the other day... He was a pretty average guy; a little mean"

"I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :("

"I walked into a Jamaican cafe, I was hungry and a' thirstin'. I asked the barman for a tot of navy rum and a pie of some description. He said we got no rum and no pies, no rum and no pies."

"How did the urologist ruin his Christmas? [OC] He looked inside Santa's sack."

"[hands over brown bag with 10,000 ransom] ""Now give me my wife."" ""This is short by 2.39"" [hides Mcflurry] ""it's all I got."""

"The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that ""nudie mag they found in the woods"" experience. #culture"

"I had some bad middle eastern food yesterday I just felafel afterwards."

"Where is it? Last night I went to a bar called the G-Spot. It was hard to find."