140414

Joke of the Day

"I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :("

"Firemen deserve a raise. They took a pole and they all fell down a hole."

"Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond."

"What is the definition of a goose ? An animal that grows down as it grows up !"

"Some people just need a high-five. in the face... with a chair... twice."

"Two caw are standing in a field Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter."

"Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days."

"I just had a baby! It was delicious."

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows. They never get to keep the house. Edit: Thanks for all the awesome comments. I can't keep up!"

"What did Beethoven do when he died? Decompose."