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Joke of the Day
"What was the name of the pharao that screwed everything up? Ineptitut."
Next Joke
"if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected"
"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."
"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""
"How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark's parents? Just one buck."
"Queen: ""come to bed"" King: ""not until i have a name for my soldiers"" Queen: ""k night"" King: ""babe ur a fukin genius"""
"I like to test the waters by pushing people in.????"
"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."
"Rick Astley: Do you have any Pixar movies I can borrow? Me: You can have Cars, Toy Story & Ratatouille, but I'm never gonna give you UP."
"Your secrets safe with me.. I stopped listening to you 30 minutes ago..."