159115

Joke of the Day

"Me ""I love you."" My 3yo ""Thanks."" And just like that, 4 years of High School memories came flooding back."

"I took my kids to the aquarium. ""If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!"" I suggested to my son. ""Grow up,"" said the woman behind the ticket booth."

"Are you danish Because im going to leave a denmark on that ass"

"What do you call a pregnant cow, just after giving birth DeCALFeinated"

"Well, America actually did it It Trumped Brexit."

"Those days I only knew six words if you count muther fucker as two."

"""You know the speed limit here, son?"" 45 ""You know how fast you were going?"" 88 ""So where you off to in such a hurry?"" 1985"

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""

"Jokes What did the lion say to the bee"

"Don't settle for shampoo! Demand real poo!"