41419

Joke of the Day

"Sees cute guy in the parking. Drops something so I can bend over & do the sexy hair flip. Forgets I have short hair. He sees me as seizing."

"A roman centurion walked into a bar, raised his hand and signed the waiter to get him 2 martini. The waiter gave him 5 instead."

"If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing."

"When people go underwater in movies, I sometimes like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo"

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line."

"I Tried to Purchase Some Camouflage Clothes But I just couldn't see myself in them."

"How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and one will see you in a while."

"Barista asks a customer if they would like their coffee black Customer replies ""what other colors do you have?"""

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you."

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? ""I still love Vista, baby"""