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Joke of the Day

"A year after marriage, wife complains to husband that he promised he would love her the same even after marriage... Husband says ""yeah, but I wasn't expecting to get married to you!"""

"Taking BuzzFeed's millennialness quiz. Apparently having mental health issues and not knowing your gender is 100% millennial."

"A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: ""I've lost my dad."" ""What's he like?"" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, ""Beer and women."""

"What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called? A *paradox.*"

"Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco."

"What's the difference between USB and USA? One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data."

"Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate"

"How Do You Get an Elephant Out of the Fairway? You take the F out of Fair and the F out of Way"

"If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters."

"I need constant reassurance, right?"