15893

Joke of the Day

"All my life I've refused to wear perfume. But then an aggressive perfume-salesperson knocked some scents into me."

"What does a pirate with back spasms say? Shiver me lumbars."

"""Now is a good time to think about every mistake you've ever made."" - 3 am"

"Simple instructions from FBI to crack any almost any iPhone. Drop face-down on hard surface from about 4 feet in the air. That should do the trick."

"What game do enemy naval officers play in the sauna? Battleshvitz"

"Donald Trump has ridiculous hair, and he squints a lot. If I had his hair, I'd squint too."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"Two muffins are in a oven... the first muffin says, ""damn it's hot in here."", the second one says, ""holy crap a talking muffin!"""

"What's black, blue, and hates having sex? The ten year old in my trunk."

"I went to the gym and did a negative pullup today. It was a letdown."