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Joke of the Day

"All my life I've refused to wear perfume. But then an aggressive perfume-salesperson knocked some scents into me."

"Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms."

"Husband comes home early and sees his wife with a black man. And says: ""Now i can see black on white that you are cheating on me. """

"Vladimir Putin's Anthem Q. What is Russia's current Anthem? A. ""Putin on the Blitz"""

"Two types of people that irritate me: 1. A drunk person when I'm sober. 2. A sober person when I'm drunk."

"whats the best part about sleeping with twenty-seven year olds? There are twenty of them"

"What is the name of an Irish girl who hangs out on your lawn? Patti O'Furniture"

"I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say, ""I would do anything for love."" On the back, ""But I won't do that."""

"Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/"