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Joke of the Day

"America, a country where people spend half of their money on food, and the other half on losing weight."

"Just Googled camel toe, and it said, did you mean Travolta Chin?"

"i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later"

"Knock Knock... Me: Knock Knock Other person: who's there Me: Allah Other person: Allah who? Me: Allah who Akbar (ALLAHU AKBAR BOOOOOOM)"

"A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face."

"A Brit, a Jew and a Canadian. So a Brit, a Jew and a Canadian are sitting in bar. The jew lifts his head from his drink and says, ""I just don't know anymore, does america got talent?"""

"Chicago is definitely the windy city. A man in a fur suit and fur hat just asked me if I've been blown today."

"My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato."

"He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit pinata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes"

"My ex is like cottage cheese... she's lumpy, she tastes bad, and I don't know what she goes well with."