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Joke of the Day

"He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit pinata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes"

Next Joke
 
"What do you get with breaking news? News casts."
"What did one octopus say to the other octopus? Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?"
"So Boxing Day, its a magical time of year, when companies send you amazing emails with pictures of all the stuff you just brought from them, at half price."
"What's the difference between a hooker and jesus? The look on their face when you're nailing them."
"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."
"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"
"why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about america? because freedom rings."
"I just joined a Tourettes Club took 5 hours to get sworn in..."
"Policewoman: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Driver: Boobs."