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Joke of the Day

"There have been reports of very heavy shelling...... At the peanut factory."

"Punctuation is everything: ""Will you marry me"" is a marriage proposal ""Will, You, Mary, Me"" = a Foursome Inquiry"

"If you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards, it installs Windows"

"If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times."

"My first child has gone off to college and I feel a great emptiness in my life. Specifically, in my checking account."

"Role playing didnt go so well last night. She was the hot sexy teacher and I the rebel student..so I ditched class. Cause schools for nerds."

"TIFU by climbing into a German U-Boat Whoops. Wrong sub."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Armageddon ! Armageddon who ? Armageddon getting out of here !"

"The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a good representation of all Italians Not straight."

"Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he's not much of a looker."