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Joke of the Day

"I have this great joke about giving birth.. But I keep messing up the delivery."

"It's very easy to clean yourself to the tune of ""Uptown Funk"". Don't believe me? Just wash."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"Do you need a bag? I had just bought a box of condoms when the cashier asked, ""Do you need a bag?"" I replied, ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"She said, ""I want twelve inches and I want it to hurt!"" So I screwed her twice and hit her in the head with a brick"

"I picked up a tub of ice cream and a tub of light ice cream They weighed the same."

"How did we even waste time before Twitter?"

"Vagina Steak (nswf) Today my husband asked me if my vagina was ""medium well"" yet? Pink but not bloody."

"What is Fetty Wap's favorite time? 5:38 PM."

"Me: The bathroom Wife: What? Me: I was about to get off the couch and just wanted to stop you before you asked where I was going."