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Joke of the Day

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas? NSFW Cancer"

"Nerdy Joke. What are two females doing after a threesome? Load-balancing. Badum-tsss."

"What is Bill Clinton's favorite instrument? The Whore-Monica"

"What do you call a fat alien? An extra-cholesterol. ...I'm so sorry."

"""You can't tell me what to do!"" I screamed, and ate the packet of silica gel."

"If you were to second guess your decision on booking a trip to a Native American community... That would be a reservation reservation reservation!"

"Daddy, did you ever eat cat food when you were little? ""Yeah, but it didn't taste very good."" She smiled and nodded, ""I know, it taste like dog food."" *A recent conversation I had with my daughter*"

"So, Pee Wee Herman announced he has converted to Islam He's currently planning a pilgrimage to Mecca Lecca Hi Mecca Hiney Ho."

"EMT: [opens my shirt revealing bread covering my nipples] You faked cardiac arrest for this? Me: Just say clear and make my grilled cheese."