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Joke of the Day

"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *hits wall outlet *has amazing time being electrocuted"

"Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear"

"Someone posted an ad claiming she can wax my chest without any pain at all. Sounds nice, but I'm kind of nervous. Do you really think she could pull it off?"

"Did you know... ...95% of Chinese have Cataracts and the other 5% drive Rincolns."

"How do you get a parrot to talk properly ? Send him to polytechnic !"

"Q: Why did the sheep jump into the lake? A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th."

"[OC] What do you call a suicidal mathematician smoking weed? Hypotenuse"

"Why do pill bottles have cotton in them? To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away for a while."

"Don't be fooled by the treadmill in my basement. I got it so I can be in a recliner drinking a beer even when I'm walking the dog."