52955

Joke of the Day

"Did you know... ...95% of Chinese have Cataracts and the other 5% drive Rincolns."

"Do you know how to cook toilet paper? Me either, but I know how to brown it on one side."

"What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes? I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)"

"This day needs cyanide."

"[stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations"

"Nothing interesting has happened today. I haven't been robbed at knifepoint. I haven't been sold into sexual slavery. I'll keep you updated."

"How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb Ill let you know once they get back to me"

"Utensils Guy 1: ""Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"" Guy 2: ""That's forked up!"" Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2* Guy 2: ""What? Too spoon?*"

"Where do Polar Bears keep their money? In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke LOL"